Notes…
1) Video 01: Day 01 (2025)…
Today was the live kick-off call for the challenge to help participants go deep in removing the blocks keeping people from the love they naturally embody. The posted video replay for this call was almost two hours long.
Key ideas that were explored include:
Embodying more integration inside of oneself to become closer to who one is;
Why one feels as they do (for example, dealing with abandonment wounds that lead to people abandoning who they are to gain the approval of others) and the stories we tell about ourselves, our thoughts, and our experiences;
Why we give so much control to our ego (which just wants to survive, not grow authentically) which seeks validation from external forces (the ego does not have to control everything); and
Becoming aware of subconscious love blocks so they no longer control us.
If you don’t believe you’re worthy of love you will block it.
We can learn to be vulnerable: you may believe and feel that if you cannot be vulnerable or authentic, you will then attract more emotional vulnerability.
Doughty noted that “…when you try to modify your energy to get someone else’s approval and validation, it’s creating resistance.”
People pleasing behaviour pattern;
Peacemaker…
These are the CONDITIONS we create to try to be loved BUT ultimately it just creates a pattern to receive approval and validation.
Doughty says, “Attracting love is about becoming love. It’s about removing the blocks to open your heart.”
AWARENESS is a process of opening your heart, having trust, and understanding that this all comes from vulnerability.
Vulnerability is a precursor to emotional availability. Vulnerability allows you to feel more connection.
Doughty then led an activation meditation to help participants tie into a group intention fed by the energy of everyone watching the live as well as those who watch later. For this he set possible INTENTIONS for the meditation…
I am going to OPEN up my heart more than ever before;
I am going to feel more PRESENT than ever before;
LET GO and LET BE: I will be good either way:
Whether I attract love or not;
Whether people validate or approve of me;
Because I am so centred in and of myself;
Because I do not put people on a pedestal;
Because I am grounded in my own heart: present, courageous, and vulnerable;
Because I have gratitude for the people and things that are in my life;
Because I can express myself and not be attached to how others respond;
Because I am grounded in a secure attachment style (where one doesn’t lean into grasping for love and where one doesn’t push it away);
Because I don’t buy into the stories I tell about myself - I understand that these stories do not hold me back;
Because I let go of expectations, and allow myself to receive, as well as trust my subconscious;
Because I choose me; and
So everyone here is able to tap into the group energy.
Doughty also touched on the idea of cultivating mind and heart coherence (mind-body connection), as well as the importance of calming the nervous system that comes from shifting one’s energy.
I can attract love and be aware of it!
2) Video 02: Day 01 (2022)…
Aaron Doughty introduced the challenge in a one hour zoom session. He began the conversation with a mini intention setting session. He asked challenge participants to imagine the highest vibration of themselves, and reviewed some of the qualities of a high vibe individual:
You don’t put people or things on a pedestal because you realize your own sense of self;
You realize that it’s natural to: be in a loving relationship; opening up to more levels of self-love; have a healthy family dynamic; have friends and social circle; and to have a very positive relationship with your body;
You lean into your shadow (our subconscious) with the courage to examine it, confront it, and release it to become new versions of ourselves;
You take action to be more accountable.
Allow the divine to flow through you: here we will tap into our own sense of self love and we will also learn how we are all connected.
Time is an illusion.
Doughty also gave a brief introduction to the SHIFT PROCESS, which stands for:
S: Story (Belief)
H: Healing (Feeling through Breathwork & Shadow-work)
I: Identity (FRAME Technique, “Who am I?”)
F: Frequency (Being in Alignment with the best version of you)
T: Transformation
S&H - letting go of the old.
F&R - wiring in the new version of you.
Doughty emphasized how everything in our reality has a vibration… where love is a general sense of being, one’s relationship to self. People feel what you feel about you.
Ohm-Work…
Post 03 #Day1 Reflection 1…
I’m in my happy place this afternoon, seeing two matinees at my local movie theatre having just seen the 30th Anniversary release of TOY STORY, an incredible movie about believing in yourself and what you offer the world; and waiting to see FANTASTIC FOUR: FIRST STEPS which starts just after 4pm.
I was bullied a lot as a teenager from grades 7-10 especially, and a huge saviour for me, an escape from reality involved listening to comedy albums and going to the movies. Even when it was going just by myself.
Today I started seeing TOY STORY alone, but more than half way in a young mother with their small child came in. Might have even been a baby, as she was rocking back and forth in her seat or it’s possible she was holding it in her lap. That made me feel a little more alone as one of my long term relationship goals is to one day raise an amazing kid with a woman I love. Sometimes I worry about this world though, how horrible and cruel we can be to each other and the planet. It makes me think it’s no place to bring an innocent child into. But then I remember there are so many amazing things in this world, so much beauty, both in nature and that has also been man made, that how could one not share that with someone.
Recently I read a book called HOW TO BE ALONE: IF YOU WANT TO, AND EVEN IF YOU DON’T by Lane Moore who shared, “At this point in my life, I often fear it’s too late, as if there were a sign-up deadline for intimacy and friends and family and I just kept missing it. And it’s not that I want to, but it’s so easy to get wrapped up in “But this is the normal time to have xyz thing. I do not have xyz thing yet. So it is too late for xyz thing.” Even though my rational brain thinks that’s garbage nonsense” (9). That quote really stood out, it resonated deeply, speaking to the negative persistent thoughts I so often feel living with anxiety and major persistent depression.
I may see a third movie today: THE SOUND OF MUSIC is playing, a film I’ve never seen before on the big screen. But will see how I feel after seeing FANTASTIC FOUR. I will also do my meditation tonight, and probably listen to another book I first read back in 2020 - HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF (AND SOMETIMES OTHER PEOPLE) by Megan Watterson and Lodro Rinzler. Watterson said something that stood out in her introduction which I listened to on the bus as I came to the theatre earlier today. Specifically she revealed: “At the root of our search for love is a glaring need to feel worthy of it… We are misled by the false belief that love is something we must earn. That love is something we must become worthy of once we’re “fixed” or “whole.” That love is something outside of us… We don’t become worthy of love someday; we are worthy of love simply because we exist. We only need to remember the truth of our intrinsic worth and then claim it. Love is a gift that comes with being” And she continues, describing: “There’s a way to see each relationship in our lives as an opportunity to hone and refine our own ability to love and be loved.” Powerful truth.
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” - Helen Schucman, from “A Course in Miracles”
"The wound is the place where the light enters you.” — Rumi
“…that we are to love each other as we love ourselves. On a certain level there’s actually no difference between self-love and love of another. To love another is to love ourselves. And we are to do this not because of some external prompt. We are to love and be loved simply because this is what we are here to do… ‘The Thunder, Perfect Mind’ is an ancient manuscript that could date back as early as the 1st century B.C.E. It was found in the 20th century at Nag Hammadi along with about 50 other manuscripts that represent the Gnostic Gospels. It contains a divine feminine voice that seems to want to relate an all-encompassing presence that exists within each of us. Chapter 4, verses 30–31, reads, “Since what is your inside is your outside / And what you see on the outside, you see revealed on the inside.”2 This suggests that in our search for love the interior terrain is as crucial as what we witness and experience in the world around us. Our capacity to love another is directly proportional to our capacity to love ourselves” (5). - Meggan Watterson from her book HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF AND SOMETIMES OTHER PEOPLE
“The most powerful spiritual practice for me is the act of loving myself fiercely. Because in my experience, everything becomes possible when a person dares to meet with the love inside them.” (6) - Meggan Watterson from her book HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF
Group Responses / Feedback…
Post 04 #Day1 Meditation Reflection…
Listen to my meditation on YouTube, “Most Powerful Meditation for Attracting a Relationship (Attract Love Meditation)". This meditation is for mind and heart coherence. Do this meditation daily for the full 21 days and see what shifts happen in your life.
ARTIFACT 01 > Aaron Doughty. “Most Powerful Meditation for Attracting a Relationship (Attract Love Meditation).” YouTube, 18 May 2018.
Share about your experience of this meditation here in the group.
I commit to doing this meditation daily for the duration of this challenge. I understand how “My heart is constantly intending to communicate with me and i open myself up to any message my heart has for me.”
I ask: “What message does my heart have for me right now?”
Embrace the unconditional love you know you can have for yourself and all life. Know that you are a good person Steven Hanju Lee. I believe in you. I have faith in your ability to do anything. Believe in yourself. Have faith in yourself. Be kind to yourself. Find love and joy in the small things. Let that love and joy spill out into the world through the softness in your eyes and the gentle smile formed by the simple parting of your lips.
I ask: “Is there any message my heart has for me right now in this moment about attracting love into my life?”
Be yourself. Let go of the anxiety, depression, guilt, resentment, and shame you let bury you down moment after moment, day after day. Be good to yourself. Treat yourself well. Remember that what you hold inside is a reflection of what is around you, of what surrounds you, and of what you attract into your life. Work hard but don’t sweat the small stuff. Small steps.
When Doughty asked: “Whatever feeling is in your heart right now, put your awareness on that feeling becoming magnified times ten. That feeling, that heart center, the turorial energy around your heart is now expanding much further beyond your body. This energy will bring you the relationship you desire. This energy around your body will bring more love to you than you have ever felt before in your life before.” I felt shame and I felt afraid. Afraid that I have been stuck for so many years now, so many decades by the wet weighted blanket that’s been stuck to my skin for so long, dragging me down, moment by moment, as life slips away. Afraid that I lack the courage and the integrity to bring authentic love into my life. Afraid that I have been engaged in spiritual bypassing, that I embody incompetence rooted in imposter syndrome. That I am a fraud, unlovable, scared, existing only to push people away. I felt ashamed for my mistakes in life, for how I have hurt people in life. Ashamed that I haven’t been able stand up for myself when I’ve been wronged. It’s not a feeling I want to magnify times ten. It’s a feeling I want to erase from my life by embracing self-love.
MEDITATION AFFIRMATIONS
Doughty provided the following affirmations near the end of his meditation…
I am whole and complete.
I am love.
I am that which I seek.
The love I want to manifest also wants to manifest me.
There is someone out there who wants to attract me into their life.
I am love. I am loved.
I am grateful for the love already in my life.
People in my life recognize the love in me.
I know that the more i focus on this feeling inside my heart the more i will manifest amazing synchronicities in my life.
I am always in the right place at the right time.
I trust the universe to bring this love, this person, into my life at the perfect moment.
I know that it is just my job to feel this love and emotion, and the more that I feel in my heart center the more I will perceive of this love in my life.
As I go through my day today I will experience more love than I ever have before. I will see how people respond in a new way to me because I have changed my energy field. I am now embodying the true love that I am.
I am love. I always have unconditional love and reverence for all life.
I will pay attention to the things in my life. The relationships I desire are coming to me now and I will see a reflection in that in my life.
Read the comments under the meditation video, take a screenshot of your favorite comment and post it here too.
I found these comments to be inspiring although there’s a huge part of me that has doubted whether these things work, whether my non-physical guides and teachers (my angels, spirit animals, soul tribe, etc.) ever really hear me. I want to find the trust in my heart and soul that I need to help manifest. With my past bullying and other troubles that have popped up there is a disconnect between my mind and my body, as well as between my mind, my ego, and the unconditional love and reverence that is embodied in my soul. This is something I need to work on resolving so that they no longer block what Gary Zukav would describe as the alignment I seek between my ego (which is rooted in the physical five sensory reality) and my soul (which is multi sensory).
Extra Credit…
1) 21-Day Self-Love Challenge…
Day 01: Where Are You Now
This was not promoted by Doughty, but a few years ago I picked up author Ingrid Lindberg’s book, THE 21-DAY SELF-LOVE CHALLENGE: LEARN HOW TO LOVE YOURSELF UNCONDITIONALLY, CULTIVATE SELF-WORTH, SELF-COMPASSION AND CONFIDENCE which I have decided to work through alongside Doughty’s challenge.
Ultimately, I’ve long believed that it’s best to live life with unconditional compassion, cooperation, curiosity, empathy, forgiveness, friendship, gratitude, harmony, sharing, love, and reverence for all life, in everything we do, starting with ourselves, no matter what. Many authors I have read have advocated for this, emphasizing the importance of starting with cultivating a deeply grounded self-love.
Below is a screenshot of the book’s day one discussion. I won’t always post about this outside of providing short written reflections - and today’s screenshots are provided simply to give people an idea of how the book is structured and what ideas it explores.
Where am I now? is a question Doughty and I have been exploring at the start of Doughty’s 21 Day Magnetic Love Challenge. If we don’t understand where we are and where we have been, how will we measure our progress as we explore new concepts and ideas? A lot of the work I did on this aspect of the book’s challenge can be found on the first post in this journal.
2) Post 05 - #Day1 - TEDx Talk: Ross Laird’s ‘Big Problems: Small Wonder’
ARTIFACT 02 > TEDx Talks. “Big Problems: Small Wonder | Ross Laird | TEDxBrentwoodCollegeSchool.” YouTube, 18 Nov 2016.
I’ve been fortunate to have studied creative writing topics (the business of writing, writing for new media, the ecology of writing, as well as writing for health and wellness), as well as interdisciplinary expressive arts courses focussed on exploring creativity with Dr Ross Laird at Kwantlen Polytechnic University. Dr Laird is a clinical consultant focussed on trauma, addictions, and social vulnerability. He holds a PhD in Interdisciplinary Creative Processes from The Union Institute and University, as well as a Masters in Counselling Psychology from Antioch University. In his 2016 TEDxTalk, Big Problems: Small Wonder, Laird shares how moments of stillness are essential for cultivating wonder, a crucial human experience. He notes how contemporary modern society's constant connectivity leads to an addiction as well as a distraction from life’s 'small wonders,' thereby preventing deep, meaningful experiences. For Laird, wonder is derived from simple acts like gazing or walking, and it forms the foundation for creativity, cultural stories, and scientific discovery.
I loved how Laird opened his talk with an experiment that revealed how uncomfortable sitting with stillness can be. Laird started by asking his audience to put their phones away. He then asked the audience to focus their quiet attention on an image of the Milky Way galaxy he displayed on a large screen in the darkened auditorium, for exactly one minute. After one minute, Dr Laird polled the audience about their reactions to sitting for a minute in stillness, with options including the impulse to check phones, questioning the activity's purpose, feeling anxiety and uncertainty during the minute, and perceiving the minute as feeling really long. Ultimately, the experiment highlighted strong reactions to being without a phone for a short period. It was beautiful.
Laird next to described how mental wandering is a purposeless, non-directed state of mind psychologists describe as the "default mode" of consciousness. The default mode is an evolutionarily ingrained state meant for regular experience. Modern life however is characterized by being "always on" and constantly connected, thereby preventing us from falling into this mode. In short, our constant engagement with life and its myriad of distractions leads to a deficit of quiet, stillness, and mental wandering. Ultimately, Laird explains that moments of stillness are necessary to cultivate moments of wonder.
He then shifts to describe three paths to wonder: Meandering, Gazing, and Bathing. Liard defines wonder as the experience of mystery, as a fusion of the personal and universal. He notes that the cultivation of wonder is a significant need in our contemporary modern society. Historically, wonder and stillness are paired, contributing to developments in arts and sciences. And there are three common activities cultivate wonder: meandering, gazing, and bathing. Meandering (aimless walking) is linked to many scientific discoveries. Gazing involves simply looking intently at something with mindfulness, from a place of non-judgmental, present moment awareness. And bathing, showering or being in water is a well-documented method for generating creative ideas. Ultimately, whatever path one takes, Laird notes that stillness is a prerequisite for experiencing wonder.
Laird is an expert on myth and mythology, having authored an amazing book on the topic called A STONE’S THROW: THE ENDURING NATURE OF MYTH. So it is of little surprise that he would link the idea of stillness to the Amazonian myth of the Great Cayman: a colossal, dark crocodile in the night sky. The cayman aims to destroy the world by closing its mouth but Gods and heroes are locked in an eternal battle to constrain it. The universe is held in tension by this struggle between light and darkness as the world will end if the cayman succeeds in closing its mouth. As such, it is clear that this mythopoetic narrative originates from people gazing at the night sky and questioning its meaning.
Laird continues, noting how many astronomers develop their passion from childhood stargazing. He illustrates how a giant black hole, Sagittarius A*, is located at the centre of the Milky Way galaxy. A cosmic equilibrium exists between the black hole's gravitational pull and the galaxy's outward spiralling force. This tension is metaphorically described as a balance between forces of light and darkness. The galactic centre is located near a visible asterism known as the "Teapot". Dark dust clouds along the Milky Way obscure the view of the galactic centre and Sagittarius A*. It is these clouds which form the shape that aligns with the mythopoetic figure of the "Great Cayman". The black hole's location corresponds precisely to the mouth of this mythical Cayman. As such, myths born from the silent act of gazing are also tied to scientific exploration as both scientific and mythopoetic approaches arrive at a similar narrative about the cosmic tensions that exist between creation and destruction.
Laird also describes how wonder connects individuals to themselves, others, as well as to larger universal questions. Wonder provides a pathway to meaning by its ability to grapple with large, unsolvable mysteries. However, contemporary modern society is characterized by constant distraction and 'small, piecemeal wonders'. In short, this creates a form of addiction to superficial information and experiences. Laird, whose clinical practice is focussed on addiction, notes how a lack of deep wonder contributes to mental health challenges, such as depression and anxiety, particularly in young people. As such, addiction to substances or technology can be seen as an escape from wonder. But personal problems can be fused with universal issues like climate change and conflict, with wonder acting as a bridge between them. Ultimately, Laird suggests that the solution to our contemporary problems lays in fostering and discovering more authentic experiences of wonder, achieved through stillness, quiet, and slowness. Wonder that often emerges from small, unexpected, and unplanned moments. Moments that typically occur during stillness, quiet, and non-action.
Laird then ends his talk showing the image from the start of the TEDx Talk, which had been taken by the Hubble telescope, an ultra-deep field image, containing approximately 3,000 galaxies. From this, Laird encouraged his audience to continuously search for wonder.