2.1.a. Your Inner Voice
Your inner voice is one of the three kinds of listening, and one you may not have heard about before.
Inner listening is our listening to the voice we hear inside ourselves, all the time.
Your inner voice (internal dialogue) creates, feeds, and informs your experience of life and all of its outcomes, all the time. That is, your listening to yourself creates your experience of life and all of your outcomes.
Your inner voice is not necessarily you. And there are different ways you can listen to it.
2.1.b. Reflective Exercise
Write down the three most common things you hear in your internal dialogue. What does that voice say to you most commonly? Are those three things helpful?
Firstly, my inner voice can be very critical of myself and the decisions I make. It often raises doubts about myself, the actions I take, and the outcomes I experience. It can put myself down, it can say I’m not good enough, it can often be really cruel to myself. It can have an “I told you so” attitude, combined with put downs such as “you’re so stupid.” By contrast, when I’m not depressed, my inner voice can provide encouragement. It can egg me on to get out of bed, and it can provide a loving reward of compliments when something goes right, such as getting a good grade in a course.
Secondly, my inner voice does have a dialogue about things I should do, and often these possible actions are tied to what I described in the first paragraph above. For example, if I’m feeling down while I’m grocery shopping, it encourages me to buy comfort food that isn’t necessarily the most healthy food I could buy, like sugary drinks and cheap chocolate bars or fried goods such as donuts or french fries. By contrast, it can also encourage me to eat better. Sometimes, when I do reach for junk it can say to me to choose fresh fruits or veggies as a snack instead of another Kit Kat bar.
Thirdly, my inner voice has an impact about things I do. It can feed my procrastination. If I’m feeling tired in the morning, it will tell me that it’s ok to sleep another hour instead of getting up and having an ice cold shower. By contrast, it can also help push me to get out of bed, by saying something like “OK, at the count of five you’re going to get out of bed and go shower. Five, four, three, two, one… GET UP!”
2.1.c. More on Your Inner Voice
Your inner voice… you are not the voice. You are the one who is listening.
Psychologists note how we have parts like our ego that speak to us. It can be our ego, habits, our unhelpful expectations, and other learned reactions. They come from a part of us but we are listening to it, and this realization gives us great power. We can relate to the inner voice like it’s a child.
Our inner voice is our monkey mind, as defined in Buddhism and mindfulness practices.
It helps to listen to our inner voice non-judgmentally, with compassion. It can come from a part of us that needs to be heard and addressed, and dealt with compassionately.
It also helps not to believe everything you hear. What’s said is a recycling of old stuff, which doesn’t make it helpful.
Finally, ask if what your inner voice is saying is helpful. “Is it helpful?” If not, you don’t have to listen or follow that course.
Artifact 01 - Video > Mindvalley. How to Listen to Your Inner Voice | Emily Fletcher. YouTube, 21 Aug 2016.
Artifact 02 - Video > Big Think. What to do if your inner voice is cruel | Ethan Kross. YouTube, 25 May 2022.
Artifact 03 - Video > Disconnect: Listening to your Inner Voice | Shveitta Sharma. YouTube, 12 Jun 2019.