This week, I started this short Udemy workshop on listening as taught by Dr Roger Kay Allen.
1.1. Introduction to Active Listening
Listening is thought of as a soft skill, that we learn as children and comes naturally. But it isn’t. Deep listening and remembering isn’t easy.
There’s a lot going on with communication: a speaker puts together words, information, complex perceptions, thoughts, feelings, and intent, which a listener has to decode through filters of their own biases, attitudes, beliefs, feelings, motives, and life experiences.
Words make up 7-11% of face to face communication, whereas tone of voice makes up 35%, while body language and other contextual cues makes up 55% of face to face communication.
LISTENING is a process of suspending judgment and being fully present with another person to understand his or her experience or point of view.
LISTENING involves hearing more than the words of the speaker but taps into the deeper meaning, unspoken needs, and feelings conveyed. It is something that is done with the heart as well as the mind.
Generally, we are not good listeners. We listen to respond rather than to understand. It’s easy to become distracted and fail to give others out full attention.
1.2 Organization of the Course
The course is split into seven sections:
Introductions
The case for good listening
Our bad habits and responses when listening
Back to Bedrock
How to Listen
From listening to problem solving
Conclusions
1.3. Tips to Get the Most Out of the Course
You control the speed of the course playback. You can move quickly or slowly through the content to fit your learning style.
Plan now you want to move through the content.
Take notes.
Use the handouts: print them and use them. Download them on your smart device and look at them. Application and practice are key to behaviour change.
Complete the exercises. Understanding alone doesn’t change behaviour.
Make comments or ask questions about the learning in the Q&A.
Listen to the content more than once.
1.4. Pre-Course Active Listening Survey
The following is a PDF copy of my assessment, which I scored 55% on.
How do you feel about your score? I know I can be hard on myself, so my score is probably lower than it is as an actual representation of my listening ability. But I think I was fairly honest overall. I can be more mindful about listening.
What are your strengths as a listener? I can be empathic at times, and understanding as a listener. People feel comfortable about reaching out to me to talk about things they are having issues with.
In what ways can you improve your ability to listen? In answering the last question, lots jumps to my mind about how I can improve. I do feel I try to jump to having a response, or an answer to someone who is talking to me before they’re finished talking. I need to learn to let that go and understand when it can be okay to just listen. I can also work on being less judgmental about those who are talking to me. I don't repeat back information given to me in order to clarify that I understand what's been said. In text I can overshare or dominate a conversation - make it about me as opposed to listening to and learning about what the other person is saying.